Food Friday with Kat 3

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter


I'll eat almost anything ....

But, BARF-O!! Ack! Quick! Give me milks! I need to get this taste out of my mouth!!

Thursday Thirteen, Edition 3

Thirteen things we did when we didn't have Internet last Thursday and Friday.

1. Cleaned up

2. Guarded the house.

3. Stole Mom's pickle.

4. Said "sorry" for stealing Mom's pickle.

5. Practiced playing guitar for upcoming beauty competitions.

6. Helped Mom with dishes.

7. Broke into the tortilla chips and threw a Mexican-themed party!

8. Bugged out looking for bugs.

9. Spent hours on the phone trying to fix our Internets.

10. Looked up favorite recipes.

11. Went grocery shopping so we could cook our favorite recipes.

12. Played bitey games.

13. Danced! Danced! Danced!

— Morning Scratch staff

Wide Body Wednesday

The Morning Scratch is committed to correcting errors or clarifying information that appear in the newspaper. Those interested in contacting the paper for that purpose can send an e-mail to themorningscratch AT gmail.com.

Clarification

In a Wide Body Wednesday article published March 21, the condition of Aunt Rudy wasn't made clear. She is, in fact, very wide. The fluff and foof is an illusion. She's a very big lady. Indisputable evidence: She can't fit through the cat door to the garage anymore; a human has to open the big door for her.

Here's another photo of her, which illustrates her mighty wideness.

Aunt Rudy

— Bogdan, Morning Scratch editor

Tongue Tuesday

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor


I'm busy at the office today. Nothing to report!

... now where's that cigar ... mmmm catnip goodness ... I know it's here somewhere....

Me-me-Meezer Monday

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter

It's Meezer Monday, so it's all about me, Kat 3, who has Siamese ancestors.

This is one of my favorite spots: a kitchen table chair. I wait here for the food.

Here are some things about me:
• I really like food.
• I talk a lot.
• I mean, I really talk a lot.
• I have a "hook" at the end of my tail.
• I keep my young-looking complexion by staying positive and having tons of fun!

Excuse me. I'm being interrupted. Uhm, Bogdan, get outta here.

It's my turn to report!

OK. Back to me.
• I had respiratory issues as a youngster, and so my little nose is damaged. It makes it so that I snore when I sleep. It also makes lots of noise when I'm sniffing really hard to find smells.
• I like to party!
• Sparkly crunchy balls are my favorite toys.
• I sneeze a lot and get my boogers on the walls and furniture.
• I think belts are really scary. I hiss at them.
• I looooove food.
Excuse me ...

I warned you, Bogdan!

MY TURN! IT'S MY TURN TO REPORT!

Shelter Sunday

We now go to the Morning Scratch's Miss Sara, reporting today from the cuddly cup in the living room.

By Sara
Morning Scratch reporter

Cats of the Household are sometimes left alone at home while investor Mom goes to pet OTHER cats.
Since the move to the new Morning Scratch facility, investor Mom and the man Dad have been going to The North County Humane Society animal shelter to pet and groom OTHER kitties. It's a no-kill, cats-only shelter, according to Morning Scratch sources.
Investor Mom and the man Dad return to the Morning Scratch facility with funny smells, and Bogdan gets very upset.
"How dare they get other cats' smells on their shoes!" Bogdan said, while throwing newspapers off his cat tree. "Those are my shoes! I marked them first!"
Investor Mom and the man Dad don't know all the kitties' names yet, but here are photos of a few of the friends they made there.

Editor's note

"I've been on the phone with you for hours, and I still can't publish my newspaper!" Mr. Bogdan tells a customer service representative. "I'm losing my patience, and quite possibly my readers!"

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

The Morning Scratch was unable to go to print the past few days because of Internet problems.
AT&T inadvertently deactivated Internet to the new facility. According to Morning Scratch sources, there was some confusion over a phone number change.
After many hours on the phone, the problem has reportedly been fixed. Every aspect of the Morning Scratch's printing press appears to now be up and running — even its staff.
"We should be able to continue our regular delivery schedule starting Sunday," said Kat 3, Morning Scratch reporter.

Wide Body Wednesday

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Here is Rudy, the aunt I tormented at grandma's house, which made it so that I was banned from visiting.

She is on a diet.