Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Kat 3's Everything's Yummy Column

Kat 3 is a professional eater.

Today, we'll talk doughnuts. All doughnuts are good. In fact, I am my favorite doughnut. This is what a very scientific study found out about me:
You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

It's true. I am a Boston Creme Donut, see?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Not-so-slick oil thief arrested for massive mess

Bogdan, a 5-year-old cat, was arrested after breaking a large bottle of olive oil in an attempt to get "just a small taste," he said, according to court documents.

A Cat of the Household isn't as slick as the oil he tried to pilfer.

Police arrived at the House on a recent night to find a glass bottle of olive oil in pieces on the floor, with oil spread about the kitchen and dining area. It didn't take long to determine a suspect.

Police Mom and Dad followed the trail of oily and slightly bloody paw prints throughout the House to find the suspect sleeping at the top of the stairs in a snuggle sack. He was arrested on suspicion of doing catlike things and making a mess and was taken to Garage Jail.

At jail, doctor Mom assessed the prisoner's injuries, finding small cuts on paw pads, according to police reports. The 24-hour emergency animal hospital was contacted but declined to take the prisoner because officials there determined the injuries to not be of a serious nature, a hospital spokesman said.

Police also apprehended two other Cats of the Household, Kat 3 and Sara, for questioning. It was determined they were not involved in the crime, but both received medical attention while being held at Garage Jail. Doctor Mom did remove some pieces of glass between toes but found no injuries. Both Kat 3 and Sara declined to be interviewed.

All three cats were taken to the veterinarian the following morning, and all three returned to the House that afternoon, with only the primary suspect having received a bath and put on an antibiotic regimen.

Police believe they have a solid case against the suspect, which at this point I, as a journalist with integrity, should disclose is me, Bogdan. Police say the suspect's favorite toy — a catnip pillow made by Scooter — was found at the scene of the crime. Also, they say, the primary suspect was covered in oil, which investigators say is the principal evidence linking the male cat to the crime. Forensic investigator Dad also matched paw prints found at the scene to the suspect's, according to the police report.

The suspect has entered a not guilty plea in Household circuit court. Police are expected to drop the charges, however, because the suspect's good behavior has been noted while in custody.

Since the incident, the suspect's paw pads have healed nicely, doctors say. He's also mostly removed most of the oily residue-look from his fur.

In a photo provided by the police, olive oil is seen on the suspect's body. His back two legs were the ones with cut paw pads.