By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editorThirteen reasons why we consistently miss our Morning Scratch publication deadline.
1. If there's one thing I've learned about journalism since launching The Morning Scratch, it's to be consistent. We certainly do at least that much: We are consistently inconsistent.
2. My staff is sleeping through prime working hours.
3. I'm sleeping through prime working hours.
4. The Investor is busy reading the latest "Harry Potter" book. (At press time (12:05 p.m. PT), she was on Page 478.)
5. The
Wii.
6. Kat 3 is very busy helping the Investor clean the dishes.
7. I bought a tie to feel more businesslike; I ended up showing it off to the neighborhood cats for several hours instead of reporting for the paper.
Don't I look like a professional?
8. There's a lot of bunny-kicking to do!
Sara thinks that DKM's snuggles are perfect for bunny-kickin' workouts.
9. The Man is a private pilot, and he is very close to getting his commercial pilot's license. This means, the typist/Investor has been gone from the Morning Scratch facility far too many hours flying around with the Man. Cats are not allowed on the airplane. I am considering a discrimination lawsuit.
Flying into the Santa Maria airport.10. Kat 3 believes guarding her toys is more important than reporting (not that I argue with that).
Kat 3: "My toys!"
11. Grandpaw and Grandmaw are visiting soon. The Investor is spending many hours chasing us around the house trying to cut our nails and brush our teeths before they get here. She says it's particularly important she clip my claws, being that last time grandmaw visited I smacked her in the face (ooops).
12. Contemplating how to get into off-limits rooms and cabinets (give me Temp-tay-shuns!) takes up several hours each day.
13. Cats have to sleep!