The Investor

She did not keep her word.

Morning Scratch publishing delayed for unacceptable reasons

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Bogdan: How does this happen?!

Investor: What are you talking about?

Bogdan: How could you allow so many days to pass without helping me publish my newspaper? You know I need your thumbs' help!

Investor: I have a job that pays, mister! It puts crunchies in your bowl and temp-tay-shuns at the tip of your claws. It keeps me very busy.

Bogdan: This is unacceptable.

Investor: I'll try to help you Thursday. Let's shake on it.

Bogdan: Fine.

Wordless Wednesday

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor


Click to biggify.

Meezer Monday

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter

It's Jingle Cats time!

Funny things that happen when I play this song:
• Bogdan thinks there are kitties in the house
• Bogdan thinks there are kitties all around the outside of the house
• Bogdan paces back and forth across the downstairs looking for any signs of any cats
• I think there are real cats in the computer
• Sara looks around the room all confused
• Mom giggles

I'm not bad; I'm good

By Mr. Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

I've been told by The Investor I will get only coal for Christmas if I "keep up this attitude." She says Santa Paws isn't very happy with me. She says that I haven't even tried to improve my behavior even as Christmas nears.

"Lookit this face! This is the face of an angel."

The Investor's examples of recent badness on my part include:
(1) Hitting the Investor on the lips just this week and drawing blood;
(2) Hitting the Investor's friend in the face and drawing blood on her forehead;
(3) Hitting Sara in the face just this morning;
(4) Eating Christmas tree needles and throwing up all over the floor;
(5) Growling at the Investor last night when she picked me up;
(6) Trying to eat our doggy friends' Christmas presents last night while the Investor was trying to wrap the gifts;
(7) Getting on the kitchen counter and munching on the tomatoes;
(8) WAIT, INVESTOR. This is enough. I think this is unfair.

What about all the good things I do? I hardly ever hit the Man. I sit on the Man's and the Investor's laps. I purr and make the Investor happy about it. I let Sara give me a bath - SOMETIMES.
Sometimes I eat things I shouldn't ... but what's important is that I eat things I should, like crunchies. And I can't help that I misunderstood, when the Investor put treats on the floor that weren't for me. I think it's perfectly reasonable to have believed those doggy treats were for me. Why else would they be on the floor?

The Bogdan verdict: I'm a good kitty. All these "bad" things are just misunderstandings.

Here are the girls getting Christmas ready:

Kat 3: "Hey, Sara. You should come down here. These hanging toys are great!"

Secret Paws Saturday!

Kat 3's quality-control check: "One, two, three ... yes! Secret Paws are all here and ready to go"

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter

Two nights ago, Sara and I helped Mom (Bogdan's edit: She's called The Investor) wrap and package gifts to our Secret Paws!

Sara made very important decisions on shipping supplies.

"Let's see. These look to be the purrfect size for mailing mousies."

I made sure every box would be sent out with the smell of Kat 3!
"It's my way of saying, Hello!"

We are very excited. The packages were mailed today. Secret Paws is tons of fun.

Oh, and where was Mr. Bogdan?
Hanging with his new friend, Mr. S. Kitty.

Bogdan makes a friend

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

As winner of the "So Scary it's Cute" category in the Halloween Costoom Contest, Bogdan won a sock kitty from Monty Q. Kat. The sock kitty came right up to the door the other day, in a box!
So yesterday, Bogdan, me, and the sock kitty hung out.
Here are the papparazzi photos.

"Hey, what's up??"

"This cat ain't bad. He's got a cool cat hat. It fits me well."

"We are buddies now."

Silly Sunday

Raise a paw! .... Higher!!

By Bogdan, Sara and Kat3
Morning Scratch staff

We cats at The Morning Scratch are raising our paws in Gaius' cause contest for the North County Humane Society of San Luis Obispo County. They have nice humans there, and they run a cat-only shelter. Our human likes that because she thinks barking dogs are very disruptive to cats' well-being. (We agree.) Our human also just finished designing her first newsletter for the society. She likes to help other kitties, and so do we ... so we're raising our paws high!

Dear Dr. Kat: I squirt poo

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter

Hmmmm. What's wrong with a little squirt?

In the past few days, when I'm purring and being petted and scratched ... sometimes I squirt a little poo. It's not much, but enough to make my humans go "ewwwwww." This hasn't been a problem before.

My dad is very concerned this could be the beginning of me squirting poo everywhere! Teehee. I don't think so... but I don't understand why this squirty-squirt is happening.

Anyone have any ideas why?

I also posted this to Catster Forums, if you want to respond there:
http://www.catster.com/forums/Cat_Health/thread/470288

TOESDAY

Me toez.

They has a flavr.

No ... what are YOU lookin' at?

We are full ...

.... and satisfied.

Nom. Nom. Nom.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Breaking Animal News: Oil Spill in S.F. Bay

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Nothing makes us more upset than when animals are hurt by humans. The San Francisco Bay oil spill is killing our bird friends. To read more, go to www.sfgate.com.

To donate money to help the birds and aquatic species, go to Baykeeper, www.baykeeper.org.

Ana's last IDYA ... IDYA No. 3: DUYS (Dress Up Your Staff)

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Unfortunately, I couldn't catch The Man to take part in Ana's last I Dare You All. And the Investor said she wouldn't do it if The Man wouldn't do it... so I had to resort to Photoshop. If only I were bigger and could hold The Man down like he did to get the chicken head on me!

Here are my staffers "dressed up."

The original photo was taken in Armstrong Redwoods State Reserve near Guerneville, CA. (Sorta near Kimo and Sabi's house.)

Our friend Milo

By Morning Scratch staff

We just found out through Honey P. Sunshine's blog that our friend Milo has died. We are very sad. He was only 4 years old.

By Bogdan, the editor
Milo was a big inspiration for me. Years ago, before I used the Internet frequently, I discovered Milo's page on Catster. The following are some things I remember about Milo from way back in the day, years ago when I first met him.

Thinking about my friend Milo, who is no longer with us.

Milo was:
• The very first cat I corralled on Catster. I was very impressed with his page. Truthfully, I wanted to be like him.
• One of my first friends on Catster. He welcomed me and my sisters to the Internet world.
• How I persuaded the Investor to sign me up and devote time to my Catster page. She was equally as impressed with Milo's page, and she supported my efforts to be as cool as Milo.
• A big supporter of my Catster page. When I thought I wasn't doing a good job, he told me I was doing great!

Milo, you will be greatly missed. Purrs to your family through this difficult time.

BOGDAN WINS!

• BREAKING NEWS • BREAKING NEWS •

This just in: "Monty Q Kat's 'So Kyoot It's Scary' award goes to Bogdan!"

I won! I thought I didn't win in any categories, but, according to contest prize sponsor Monty Q. Kat, the 'So Kyoot It's Scary' category was recently announced, with Bogdan, me, the editor, the winner. My investor is pleased. Thanks, Monty Q! We look forward to the prize, a sock kitty. (My investor is pleased about this, too. In fact, she's downright giddy.)

Not-so-scary Halloween photos

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Apparently a particular photo from my Halloween photo shoot was met with snorts and laughs. Thank you, Skeezix, for including me in your post-Halloween post, though I did not win a prize in the contest. I thought that because I could not incite fear (which was my original intention with giving that look), I could at least post more photos from the Halloween shoot - from all of us - that might make you all to howl meow with laughter.
Here are the outtakes.

Happy birthday to meeeeee!

By Kat 3
Morning Scratch reporter

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! I am 4.

RUB MY BELLY!!!

Purrs.

Happy Halloween!

By Bogdan
Morning Scratch editor

Cats of the Household wouldn't miss publishing a Halloween edition of The Morning Scratch, mostly because the "way-too-busy" investor loves an opportunity to torture the Cats with dress-up time.
This Halloween, Kat 3 is Avril Lavigne, and she even has her own song: "I don't like your food-treats." Sara is a damsel, but not in distress. "I don't need to be saved," Sara said.
I, Bogdan the editor, am too dignified to wear a costume.
"Nah-uh," Kat 3 said. "You were wearing a rooster costume! I saw it! I saw it!"
Fine, I Bogdan the editor, allowed The Man to put a rooster head on me - but only so that I had a chance to win Karl's NOMS contest.

Go to http://halloweencontest.blogspot.com and vote for us!

Here are the Morning Scratch staffers' entries.

BOGDAN THE ROOSTER

----------------

SARA THE DAMSEL

----------------

Kat 3 as Avril Lavigne

Lyrics from Kat 3's latest song:
[Chorus - to the tune of Avril's "Girlfriend"]
Hey hey, you you
I don't like your food-treats
No way, no way
I think you need some new ones
Hey hey, you you
I could be your connection
Hey hey, you you
I know that you like treats
No way, no way
I know it's not a secret
Hey hey, you you
I'll give you some Temp-tay-shuns.
---------------

Editor's note:
While the investor has been busy with ongoing issues with the new Morning Scratch facility, the Cats of the Household have been busy sleeping, eating and well, sleeping. We'd like to thank everyone who has continued to read our previous editions. The humans hope the builder will settle with them during a mediation meeting next month, so they can fix the facility's problems and get back to the important things in life, like producing the Morning Scratch.

"Sister Spa Sunday" Gross!

By Bogdan
The Morning Scratch

For some reason Kat 3 and Sara do this:

I don't allow it. I keep my tongue to myself. I expect others to do so.

In other news. The humans bought a lot of bun-food at the market this week.

I want to know why they didn't bring me any of that fresh free-roaming chicken meat! Instead, this is what they brought into my facility:

What nerve.

Spotty Sunday and Lilly Lu

By Bogdan

Morning Scratch editor

My spotty leg.

And ... Lilly Lu — the original Spotty Sunday gal — is showing off the Hello Kitty tank top I got her for Summer Secret Paws. Go see! She looks just stunning!

Thursday Thirteen, By Sara, Edition 7: Cat Room Makeover

By Sara
Morning Scratch reporter, Living section

Our new Morning Scratch facility is finally coming together nicely. Bogdan has his reporting areas set up, and the investors even moved in a few things of their own. Now it's time for the garage conversion to a cat room made in cat heaven.

I've hired a Cat Living Space specialist to design an area the three of us cats can play in, sleep in and puke in. That's right: The space must have toys and cat trees, plenty of comfy sleeping spots and be easy to clean. (Let's be honest here, we ALL get hairballs.)

Specialist, are you taking notes?

Here are thirteen things I'm requesting from the Cat Living Space specialist.

1. Ergonomic bowls.
2. A cardboard box for each of us, complete with windows and mailboxes. Oh, and a tunnel box like Skeezix used to have.
3. Perches at every window.
4. A condo, with three levels - one level for each of us.
5. A painted mural on the main wall (ideally one of me showing my great beauty).
6. An armoire for my hair pieces, Kat 3's clothes and Bogdan's GQ-inspired outfits for work.

7. Walkways attached to the walls.

8. Carpeting throughout the room.
9. Privacy screens for the bathroom.
10. Automatic Tem-tay-shun dispenser.
11. Catnip plants.
12. A cork board on which I can hang pictures of all our friends.
13. Oh, and anything I think of at any time, ever.

OK, Specialist, we're done for today.